The Golden Glow of Gratitude

I wrote this post last week, but with a newborn it takes a little longer to edit and publish, I apologize. Okay, continue on.

Unlike the many other Facebookers, I did not list gratitudes on my page from November 1st until Thanksgiving. My sister-in-law, Emily, and I actually started the day of Thanksgiving. We like to be different. ;) My goal is to make it a full year. Today is day eight. I have so much to be thankful for. Let me tell you about the last 24 hours for my husband and I...

Yesterday I updated my profile picture to an adorable picture my mother-in-law took over Thanksgiving weekend. Look at her, isn't Adeline just adorable! Anyway, after seeing the picture online, one of Derek's best friends from Chiropractic School, Ian, emailed him to the effect of, "Hey, cute picture. As a concerned parent myself, you should really check out Adeline's eye." I am so grateful he emailed us.

So, we did what we tell everyone NOT to do. We went on the Internet. We always say, "DON'T go on the Internet! It's horrific! You are going to hear the worst stories!" I know, I know, we should take our own advice, but it's so much easier  said than done when it's your own child.

Derek clicked on the links that morning and read to me about what that golden glow in Adeline's eye could mean. Apparently it could mean a lot of things. It could mean cataracts or a variety of eye diseases or worse, it could mean that there is a tumor in her eye reflecting the light. The tumor could lead to blindness or having the eye removed or death if not caught in time. Or it could mean it was a picture just taken at the wrong angle. Derek and I read through the symptoms of what it could look like if there were a tumor. The eye could droop or be itchy or red or be lazy. In the picture the glowing eye is her left eye which also happens to be her slightly lazy eye, and her goopy eye. We are NOT hypochondriacs, but there were just too many coincidences lining up. Fear and worry set in for us. We live a healthy lifestyle, and want nothing more than health for all our children. 

We spent the night taking photos of her, hoping not to see the golden glow again. It was there. In a few actually. At the end of the night, laying worried in bed, I had sent an email out to my girlfriends that said this: We are in need of prayer. It's hard to explain right now, and I'm too tired, but please pray for Adeline's eye. For it and her body to be healthy. I will fill everyone in soon! Thanks! xoxo-H
I am so incredibly grateful that I can email my girlfriends with things like this. 

Derek and I had a restless night between minds wandering with worry and waking up with Adeline.

This morning I received a text from my friend Kristin, she asked if we were okay and how she could help. I called her and we spoke for a while about what was going on. She was concerned and offered help in anyway. I wasn't sure how she could help. How could anyone help at that point, really? We are going to see our Pediatrician in a week for her 2 month check up, and we would ask him about it then because there was no way he would have any openings before then. 

We talked for a little while longer and then I called my Mom who is an R.N. She and I chatted about it. She said they used to take a picture of children's eyes in school to test for just this. But of course, all the blogs and scary information on the Internet told me that if Adeline had a tumor she wouldn't make it past three-years-old if we didn't do something about it. Thank you Internet, for being more terrifying than the horror film "Candyman".

I left to see Derek. When I saw him I could just see how much he was struggling. There really is nothing like a parent's worry. It eats away at you and breaks your heart. That is what he looked like. Like his heart was breaking with worry. But Derek puts on a great face when he needs to, as his wife I am honored to see through those faces, to his heart. I am so grateful for him, my partner. I'm so grateful I get to go through all these hard times with him.

While sitting together over coffee, talking about our mornings, what we'd found out, and our plan of action with Adeline's golden eye I received a call from Kristin. You see, Kristin's family and our's see the same pediatrician. She and I had our babies a week apart, so she was going in today for her son's two month check up. She graciously offered her space to us. She offered to pick Landon up from school and watch him while we took Adeline to see the doctor. She called and had them switch the appointments, and she put us first. She took care of us. I am so grateful. We are all so blessed to have her in our lives.

Derek and I went to the appointment, knowing that he may be back late to see his Chiropractic patients. His co-workers offered him much Grace, and told him to go. Again, I am so grateful. At the appointment the doctor knew exactly what we were talking about, and understood our worry. He checked Adeline's eyes and confidently told us that he saw absolutely nothing that worried him - and to stop looking up medical issues online. WE KNOW! Still, I am so grateful. He told us that if we still wanted to get it checked out by a specialist for peace of mind he would write us a referral. Yes please. And thank you for your Grace and understanding, Dr. Lundgren. 

Driving home today I thought, "How was I going to sum up all the things that I am grateful for today? There are so many!!" Our wonderful friends, our office team, our pediatrician and two red eyes upon inspection. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for your support, prayers, being there to listen, taking care of my children and for honestly and genuinely loving me and my family.I am thankful beyond words (though, there are many in this blog) for you, and I love you too. 

We still aren't 100% sure what is going on, and until we have Adeline looked at by a specialist I know I a piece of worry will live in my heart, my heart that is so full right now.

"One act of thanksgiving when things go wrong with us, is worth a thousand thanks when things are agreeable to our inclinations." -Saint John of Avila