10 Things I've Learned Since Adeline's Birth... 48 Hours Ago

My daughter, Adeline Grace, was born just two short days ago, and already I've learned some new life lessons. My birth with my firstborn, Landon Travis, was work - of course - but overall I describe and remember his birth as "liberating and empowering". That experience is the reason I am so passionate about birth and our ability as women to create, birth, breastfeed and love our children. 

Adeline's birth was so different - so difficult - but also so worth it. It's amazing the way life can teach you things when you least expect it; here is what Adeline's birth and the last few hours/days have taught me...

Adeline Grace, 6 lbs, 13 oz and 19 in.
Born 100% natural on Wednesday, 10-09-13 at 8:56 am

1. God gives us different and challenging experiences so we can be humbled, less judgmental and more relatable.

If I had not had the difficult birth I did with Adeline I truly don't think I would be able to relate to some honest fears and apprehensions some women have about birth. How can I teach, coach and counsel other women if I am not open to, and understanding of, their thoughts and experiences? In the past, I admit, when people told me of horrible birth stories, I used to think that, "maybe they didn't prepare," or "maybe they started pushing too early," or "maybe they just couldn't keep a positive attitude," or even "maybe their coach wasn't supporting them the way they needed". Because if I could do it - at 22, with no partner, and very little to no preparation - and it was an incredible, liberating experience, these other women must have done something wrong. I'm sorry. I understand, I am humbled. Thank you, God.

2. My husband is amazing.

I know I say this often, and I re-learn it over and over every day. But really, he was there for every contraction, for every tear and every push. Always putting me first. Thank you, Derek. I love you, and I couldn't have done it without you.

3. Good, confident mid-wives are gifts from God and answers to prayers.

4. There is at least one event from every birth story that sticks with the mom, one thing that is so special that you want to share it with everyone. 

Here is mine: Adeline was born in her bag of water. This is not common. It is said that babies born "in the caul" are intuitive and blessed. Derek talks about how amazing it was to see. I didn't see it, but I felt everything, and I am so proud. She is a blessed baby, but I know we are far more blessed than she is.

My first baby, Landon Travis, now 8 years old.

5. Don't let your high expectations of siblings and their reactions disappoint you. 

Landon still has not held Adeline and his response to seeing her for the first time was, "Hi Adeline." Very simple, very sweet, very honest. He isn't ready to hold her, or kiss her, but he is so protective and inquisitive of her. It's important to respect his feelings during this time; this is his transition too. And accepting that just might be the toughest part for us as parents. 

6. I am so blessed to be able to count on family and friends. 

They were wonderfully helpful, from prayers to a 2am "we are heading to the Birth Center" phone call, to leaving the comfort of their bed at 3am, to watching, entertaining and feeding Landon, to bringing meals over, supplying coffee in the morning, and simply being present for hugs and talks. I am forever grateful.

7. Statistics are sometimes just statistics and don't mean anything. 

My second birth was statistically supposed to be, "shorter, about half the time,". It was shorter... by 3 hours. And even though it was just 3 hours shorter, I am thankful it was.

I actually saw this photo on FB, and screen captured it.
I can't find the post or page it was on, and I didn't get to
read the attached post, but I believe it was of the same
sentiment as No. 8.

8. Don't feed the fear. 

So much about birth is attitude-centered. Share the good positive things about labor; don't forget the negative or be dishonest, but share the positive. Especially with women who have not given birth yet. Yes, my closest girlfriends know my whole birth story and experience because I can't deny myself the ability to reflect on Adeline's birth with them - and learn from it and receive their support. (Many of the thoughts written here have come from those conversations with them.) But every birth, EVERY SINGLE birth is different; let every woman have their own expierence. Don't feed the fear.

Daddy reading to his Baby Girl while her tiny feet soak up
a little sun. It's a Bill Bryson book called The Lost Continent.
Bryson writes about his experiences traveling the world.
Derek loves his books; if you were to read Derek's 
personal travel journals you would recognize the same
writing style.  He's read me a few of Bryson's books;
the tradition and special time together continues 
and is passed onto our littlest...

9. Watching Derek love Adeline feels like watching him love a piece of me. 

It makes me want to cry, happy tears.

10. I am so in love with my daughter. 

Every moment of labor was worth this precious little baby girl asleep on my chest. To quote the song she was named after, 

I’m so completed now.

You have no idea just how 

I’ve been affected.

You’ll never be neglected

In these arms of mine.

Welcome to the world little Miss Adeline Grace. You are amazing and have already made me a better person. I love you. Love, Mom