The Birth Essay

My pregnancy with Landon, I had no "Birth Plan" written or mental. Honestly, the only plan I had was to keep that freaking giant needle out of my spine, and to birth a baby, and then to breast feed. I'm incredibly fortunate that Landon was born into the world the way he was, naturally. I had no idea there were so many options to choose from, opinions to have, things that you had to prepare for. I took Lamaze classes with my Mom, worked till 10 days before I delivered, and talked while I walked with my Mom about labor. I think part of me trusted my instincts, "This is just what we do as women, we give birth to babies". I know the other part of me was incredibly naive.

Fast forward 8 years. This time around I've found that through the years I've researched and read more, had more conversations, formed many more opinions, made more preparations, and I've married a Chiropractor who has a vast, open, ocean of knowledge behind those gorgeous eyes of his.

The other Sunday we created our "Birth Plan for Baby Adeline Grace" in preparation for our 34 week appointment. Let me share with you that expierence and the events played out that lead up to that morning's appointment at the Birth Center last week.

Sunday night:

Me: Honey, we need to work our birth plan tonight.

Husband: I've already done it. Well, I just looked through some books and put it together, briefly, we should go over it together.

Me: Okay, great.

Derek and I are pretty much on the same page about everything. So I thought, "Well this is going to be quick, painless and easy. We should have time to fold some laundry before bed too." We sat down on the couch and looked at the computer screen together... for 3 hours!! There were a number of books on the table, and a birth plan or two open on a second computer. We covered almost everything, from our ideal birth to if she was born with complications. I say 'almost' because I absolutely refused to even think about what we would do if she was a stillborn, let alone put that in a birth plan. Refused. To. Do. It. Once the birth plan was completed it was 4 full pages long, I know this because if you flipped to the last page you will see that there are page numbers on the bottom. Derek claims he didn't number them, but he's just so attentive to detail that I honestly didn't believe him. I still don't.

That night Derek went to sleep feeling what I imagined was 'accomplishment'; one more thing checked off our list of things to do before she arrives. I went to bed exhausted and apparently with too many things rushing through my head because I had a horrible nightmare about delivering Adeline that night. It was like the worst case scenario played out too vividly, but I won't go into the detail of the dream. It was a true nightmare. I woke up in an awful, grumpy, depressed mood. 

The Tuesday following I went to a Le Leche League meeting where I was talking with some of the amazing women about our attention to detail with Birth Plan, and the resulting nightmares. One of the leaders ran over to the L.L.L. lending library and checked out Ina May's Guide to Childbirth for me. All the women told me to read a few amazing birth stories a day so I could reset my mind, and remember what we, as women, are capable of. This was wonderful advice, I've been reading them and I haven't had a nightmare since. 

The Culprit and The Solution

So all of this has lead up to our 34 week appointment at the Birth Center. Before I gave one of the midwives our Birth Plan I prefaced it for her. I said, "So, we have prepared this Birth Plan. We know its long, and may be a bit much for the Birth Center because you all are so in line with our principals and needs. Really, it's more for the hospital, in case we deliver early or there's a complication. We want them to know what our preferences are." Then I put it down on the desk, clunk. Okay, okay, maybe it wasn't "clunk," but it felt that way to me. 

She picked it up to just page through it and said, "Okay, well before we get to your BIRTH ESSAY, do you have any questions today?" I laughed out loud. Birth Essay. Yup. Essay. Prefect. I loved it. Derek laughed quietly, the way he does, and said, "I like how you said,'Essay'. Sorry the different stages of birth aren't color coded."

He and I laughed back and forth making silly comments about the Essay, the length and detail. It was good to laugh at ourselves, together. After reading through it, and making a few notes in the margins for the Birth Center's benefit, the midwife assured us that it was great, and perfectly "normal" to want to be so detailed. I just continued to giggle. We wrote a Birth Essay. It was four pages after all...

You know how Spiderman's Uncle says, "With great power comes great responsibility." Well, I say, "With too much detail and planning, comes nightmares." Trust your body. Your body knows what to do, it's innate. Your Birth Plan is so that everyone is on the same page about your birth needs, and knows what to do in case of an emergency.

34 Weeks Along

Addendum: Apparently, "Birth Essay" is what the midwives at the Birth Center call Birth Plans. Wow, there goes to show you how weird we were feeling about it. Well, if you need a Birth Plan/Essay, and want to see what we put together, just reach out. I'll email it to you.