The Birth Essay

My pregnancy with Landon, I had no "Birth Plan" written or mental. Honestly, the only plan I had was to keep that freaking giant needle out of my spine, and to birth a baby, and then to breast feed. I'm incredibly fortunate that Landon was born into the world the way he was, naturally. I had no idea there were so many options to choose from, opinions to have, things that you had to prepare for. I took Lamaze classes with my Mom, worked till 10 days before I delivered, and talked while I walked with my Mom about labor. I think part of me trusted my instincts, "This is just what we do as women, we give birth to babies". I know the other part of me was incredibly naive.

Fast forward 8 years. This time around I've found that through the years I've researched and read more, had more conversations, formed many more opinions, made more preparations, and I've married a Chiropractor who has a vast, open, ocean of knowledge behind those gorgeous eyes of his.

The other Sunday we created our "Birth Plan for Baby Adeline Grace" in preparation for our 34 week appointment. Let me share with you that expierence and the events played out that lead up to that morning's appointment at the Birth Center last week.

Sunday night:

Me: Honey, we need to work our birth plan tonight.

Husband: I've already done it. Well, I just looked through some books and put it together, briefly, we should go over it together.

Me: Okay, great.

Derek and I are pretty much on the same page about everything. So I thought, "Well this is going to be quick, painless and easy. We should have time to fold some laundry before bed too." We sat down on the couch and looked at the computer screen together... for 3 hours!! There were a number of books on the table, and a birth plan or two open on a second computer. We covered almost everything, from our ideal birth to if she was born with complications. I say 'almost' because I absolutely refused to even think about what we would do if she was a stillborn, let alone put that in a birth plan. Refused. To. Do. It. Once the birth plan was completed it was 4 full pages long, I know this because if you flipped to the last page you will see that there are page numbers on the bottom. Derek claims he didn't number them, but he's just so attentive to detail that I honestly didn't believe him. I still don't.

That night Derek went to sleep feeling what I imagined was 'accomplishment'; one more thing checked off our list of things to do before she arrives. I went to bed exhausted and apparently with too many things rushing through my head because I had a horrible nightmare about delivering Adeline that night. It was like the worst case scenario played out too vividly, but I won't go into the detail of the dream. It was a true nightmare. I woke up in an awful, grumpy, depressed mood. 

The Tuesday following I went to a Le Leche League meeting where I was talking with some of the amazing women about our attention to detail with Birth Plan, and the resulting nightmares. One of the leaders ran over to the L.L.L. lending library and checked out Ina May's Guide to Childbirth for me. All the women told me to read a few amazing birth stories a day so I could reset my mind, and remember what we, as women, are capable of. This was wonderful advice, I've been reading them and I haven't had a nightmare since. 

The Culprit and The Solution

So all of this has lead up to our 34 week appointment at the Birth Center. Before I gave one of the midwives our Birth Plan I prefaced it for her. I said, "So, we have prepared this Birth Plan. We know its long, and may be a bit much for the Birth Center because you all are so in line with our principals and needs. Really, it's more for the hospital, in case we deliver early or there's a complication. We want them to know what our preferences are." Then I put it down on the desk, clunk. Okay, okay, maybe it wasn't "clunk," but it felt that way to me. 

She picked it up to just page through it and said, "Okay, well before we get to your BIRTH ESSAY, do you have any questions today?" I laughed out loud. Birth Essay. Yup. Essay. Prefect. I loved it. Derek laughed quietly, the way he does, and said, "I like how you said,'Essay'. Sorry the different stages of birth aren't color coded."

He and I laughed back and forth making silly comments about the Essay, the length and detail. It was good to laugh at ourselves, together. After reading through it, and making a few notes in the margins for the Birth Center's benefit, the midwife assured us that it was great, and perfectly "normal" to want to be so detailed. I just continued to giggle. We wrote a Birth Essay. It was four pages after all...

You know how Spiderman's Uncle says, "With great power comes great responsibility." Well, I say, "With too much detail and planning, comes nightmares." Trust your body. Your body knows what to do, it's innate. Your Birth Plan is so that everyone is on the same page about your birth needs, and knows what to do in case of an emergency.

34 Weeks Along

Addendum: Apparently, "Birth Essay" is what the midwives at the Birth Center call Birth Plans. Wow, there goes to show you how weird we were feeling about it. Well, if you need a Birth Plan/Essay, and want to see what we put together, just reach out. I'll email it to you. 

15 Truths I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Pregnancy

Pregnancy is a miraculous time in a woman's life. A time when you are literally "one" with your child, and life is beautiful. Our bodies are amazing ladies! We can grow a whole person inside our bodies in around 40 weeks! Men, we do need you, but your physical contribution in comparison just isn't miraculous or amazing. Sorry. We are amazing!! Life is so wonderful; everyone complements you, congratulates you and accommodates you. Life is great for a pregnant woman, thicker, fuller hair, a "glow" and bigger boobs! Yay pregnancy!! True. Annnnnnnd false. 

If you know anything about me, you know that I LOVE pregnant women and the beautiful power and strength they hold. Hey, I'm even pursuing a career in child birth education and lactation consulting. Clearly, I love pregnancy, birth, breast feeding and everything in between. We. Are. Amazing. 

But for those of you who are getting pregnant for the first time, I want you to know about some of the things that may accompany these wonderful times of bliss so you aren't in shock, like I was with this second pregnancy. There were days when I would look at Derek, holding back tears, I would shout at him, "WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY BODY?!"

You should know that my first pregnancy with Landon was amazing! I hardly experienced any of these symptoms, just a bigger appetite, belly, boobs and eventually a bigger butt. Thank you 2 AM pint-sized feedings of Ben and Jerry's Brownie Batter. Hey, this is a judgement free zone, right?

If you prefer to stay in the 'Ignorance is Bliss' category, I totally understand. Stop reading. Now.

If you are my brother or Dad or anyone that holds me on a pedestal, you may want to also stop reading. Or not, it may be fun to read a list about your sister who has a hard time controlling her flatulence and bladder.

For women who are pregnant, or have been, I hope you find this amusing, and will laugh with me as you read. Read on!

15 Truths About Pregnancy

1. Your body is no longer your own. This is the most important thing to understand. Everything else just follows this one fact, you are the physical provider for a growing, thriving human being.

2. Start your exercise and kegels before you get pregnant or every time you sneeze or cough you will have to change your underwear. There are now even apps to help you with your kegels. I downloaded Kegel Kat because I like that the cat is wearing a headband, and meows on the "squeeze" part, but to each their own.

Kegel Kat can help you with your Kegels!

3. You may become very acquainted with your toilet bowl, you may even deem yourself a "professional puker" like I did, because some days it may feel like your job. Try to find the silver lining in everything or it will be a long 9 months, with this one, it's hard. I know. Just trust that one day, the nausea will stop and you will be able to eat normal food again.

4. Sometimes you're going to feel like punching your husband in the face as much as you love him. Just say no. Punching is never good for a relationship, especially if he's only asking you if you want almond butter on your toast. "What kind of questions is that?!?! Of course I do!! UGGGH!!" Just breathe, respond, smile, and walk away.

5. It's hormones. It's always hormones. There will be days where everything makes you angry, or cry uncontrollably, or laugh hysterically. Take it in stride. If it's an angry day, try to warn your husband and keep your distance. He will thank you in the end, and you will love him more for respecting your space.

6. Find a support group. I am so blessed to be going through this with one of my closest friends. So on days where I pee my pants from sneezing I can send her a text about it. It makes me feel more normal to get a text back saying, "I hear you, I did that 3 times last night."

Yes, this is a real text I sent a friend.

7. There will be days where you cannot get out of bed from exhaustion, and after taking a 5 minute shower, you will need a 20 minute nap, just because that was SO EXHAUSTING. Take that nap. Take lots of them, even if that means calling a friend and saying, "I'm running 20 min late." If you have good friends, they will understand.

8. You will pee all the time. All the time. In the first trimester it's hormonal, the third it's because you did such a wonderful job growing a baby and he or she now likes to use your bladder as a trampoline. Don't get frustrated when you have to run to the bathroom because you feel like your bladder is SO full, and two drops come out. That really means that had you not made it to the bathroom, it wouldn't have been as bad as your originally thought.

http://www.etsy.com/shop/karenskontraptions

9. Sometimes it feels like the baby knows Kung-Fu, or is a very tiny kick-boxing professional. It hurts. Just breathe through it. Once the baby is born, you will miss those movements.

10. You will fart. Even when you try not to. I don't think I need to elaborate on that. 

11. You will grunt like an old woman. Every time you get out of the car (why are some of them so low to the ground?!) it may sound like you are trying to push the baby out already. Really, some days I am reminded of helping my Granny get in and out of the car. And it's not every day, just on the days where I'm overly exhausted. Let your husband open the door for you, and on days where you feel like an old woman, ask him for a little help getting out. Then, make sure you say, "thank you". And mean it.

12. Your body will hurt at times, find a great chiropractor, if you don't have one already (I know many, let me know if you need one), and trust your body's ability to heal and change. Your pelvis is going to shift and change, and the ligament laxity necessary for birth is going to add instability to all of your joints (this is supposed to happen), but you will ache. Badly. Again, find a chiropractor, one that practices Webster Technique, they will help balance your pelvis, creating more room for your baby and more comfort for you. I'm so grateful to be married to my chiropractor, trust me, they are an essential part of your pregnancy team. Also, I've found prenatal yoga helps. Remember, our bodies were made to do this, but sometimes we need help. 

13. Sleep will become a hard thing to accomplish at night. Between getting up to pee 5 times a night, being overwhelmed with the checklist of things you have to accomplish to prepare for the baby, leg cramps, and indigestion it will seem impossible to sleep. I swear to you, Derek has had to help me roll over to get out of bed to use the bathroom. Sometimes I just get stuck on my back with no energy to roll all-the-way-over and out of the bed. I have a good husband. Remember how I said to take naps. Take naps.

14. You may feel like the most popular, interesting person with all the appointments you have to go to. They will want to know what you're eating, how much weight your gaining, how you're feeling and what your plans and preferences are. Look at it as your baby's first fan club. It will be easier and more fun that way.

15. Baby brain is a real thing. The baby gets all those nutrients, essential fatty acids, and everything we put into our body first. Then you get the leftovers. Sometimes, there are no leftover for memory. There were days where mid-sentence I would forget what I was saying. Gone. No idea. It was like trying to read  a blank page with no page to turn back to and reference for a little information. If you can take fish oil this will help, if you can't keep it down (like me), then just rely on check lists, post-its and the patience of others. 

I just want to thank my friend Hilary for inspiring this. I will never forget about 6 months into her marriage I called her to catch up and she said to me, "It's hard! No one ever tells you how hard it is!! They always say it's wonderful! Well, I'm going to tell you, Heather, because I love you. Marriage is hard!" 

So, there you have it, pregnancy IS beautiful, but it is also hard, and not very pretty at times. But those good parts, they really are great. So great that we have over populated the planet. Go us! Treasure the life-giving moments of pregnancy, and just laugh at the rest of it. God has a sense of humor, we should too. Perhaps He is preparing us to love a little person with all of the same digestive, sleep, and emotional issues we had for the last 9 months. Life is beautiful, trek on, create more life and do it with your fuller hair and glowing skin!



To our men: Thank you. Thank you for loving us and still finding us beautiful despite all of these "fun facts". We need you, not just to get pregnant, but to love and support us while we are pregnant. 

I've now gone through pregnancy without and with a husband, and, Derek, you make this a thousand times easier. Thank you for holding me when I cry for no reason, for cleaning and cooking while I can't stand the smell or even the sight of food, for loving Landon while I was too weak to get out of bed. Thank you for helping me get in and out of the car and bed. And thank you for reminding me that I am beautiful even when I don't feel it. You are amazing, I love you.

California Love

On Sunday night when I was so full of inspiration and warm fuzzy feelings I should have written it down. On Sunday night when we sat on an airplane, and I reflected on all the wonderful moments Derek and I had with each other and our friends, I should have written it down. Now I grasp onto some random moments in my head and on my heart, but surely they are missing bits. Kind of like the Landon's smile- you know he's smiling, but clearly he's missing some very important teeth. Sorry. Bad analogy, but you get it. I bet I would have had a better analogy on Sunday... So here are some of my favorite moments from over the weekend, in no particular order of course!

Late night talks and laughter with Noah and Michelle before bedtime.

Paleo breakfast with my soul sisters in Santa Monica.

Seeing a bit of Gloucester in a California home.

Feeling the water on Butterfly Beach, surprisingly not as cold in October as Good Harbor Beach in July.

Hugging my girls, taking photos, and just being with them again. 

Derek and I planning our future on a napkin outside one of his favorite L.A. breaky spots.

Holding Derek's hand (a favorite of mine, always- 
it just never gets old).

Seeing familiar places and discovering 100 new ones.

Talking to Carina on the phone while shuffling through $100 jeans that I would never buy.

Being able to be there when Michelle and Noah committed their lives to each other. 

Seeing Noah give Derek a key to their house because of tradition... I swear, I almost lost it in the middle of Urth Cafe. The heart these boys have, you'd swear they're women. ;)

Seeing Natalie and Mike so happy together and so appreciative of each other. It's wonderful to see friends in perfect relationships.

Seeing how old-time friends can get together and create new-time-fun.

Taking about inspiration, love and gratitude with Brendan and Derek over the blasting wedding music.

Watching the dolphins play in the waves with the surfers.

Eating yummy, healthy food!!

Seeing the way Noah and Michelle looked at each other during their first dance. Melt. My. Heart.

Groundworks Coffee every morning.

Laughing and dancing with a tipsy Derek on the walk home after the wedding. He was in rare form. I loved every second of it!

Napping on the beach on the sand. Enjoying the sunshine!

Hanging half-out of the window while Alexis drove alongside the beach with Brendan James' "Lucky One" BLASTING.

Morning walks with my Husband.

Having two "movie dates" with Derek on the airplane.

Hanging out and cuddling with Dexter the amazing dog.

Sleeping in till 9am East Coast Time and getting up at 6am West Coast Time! Feeling refreshed and still having all morning!

Going to a Sunday Morning Farmers' Market.

Daydreaming in the sunshine.

Stopping in Ventura to watch the surf. 

Hands out the window, catching the wind.

Seeing the Beautifully Strong Jen and finally meeting her lovely husband Dr. Nick. They have such an awesome practice out there!

Kiss Buggies, lots of them.

Driving on the PCH. ...Learning what PCH stood for. 

That perfect moment when Derek and I knew that California is where we'd like to settle in the end, and setting the goals to make it a reality... some day. 

Till then, 

I'm a very grateful,

 and very happy Beverlian.

Happy 117th Birthday!

This week we celebrated Chiropractic's 117th Birthday! To celebrate I want to share my own recent expierence.

So much of my life is Chiropractic centered, my job (a Chiropractic Assistant), my husband Derek's job (Doctor of Chiropractic), the way we raise our son and live our lives (drug free, well adjusted) and pretty much all of my amazing friends here (being that I met most of them through work). Our boss, Dr. Franson (though, we all just call him Doc), does an incredible job managing our attitudes, and purpose, constantly finding new ways to motivate and inspire us. And even with the incredibly wonderful patients we have lately there have been days Chiropractic feels just like anyone else's job full of processes, systems, and protocols. This week felt that way in at the start, here's why...

Last week, I was awfully ill, downright out for the count. My body was truly going through something it had never experienced before. I spent most of Tuesday in bed followed by the rest of the week till Saturday. That was the day when I started to feel good enough to sit on the recliner with my computer. I was quick to tire and was often lightheaded with a constant headache. It's not like me to not bounce back quickly since I began Chiropractic care in 2008, so I was concerned, and so was Derek. The man hates when I have a cold, it pains him to see me feeling ill. Imagine his discontent.

I returned to work on Monday morning feeling lethargic, though better, I was not entirly present physically, mentally or emotionally. Completely exhausted. Later on Monday, Landon and I were scheduled for an adjustment.

I went into Doc's adjustatorium completely exhausted, headachy, in pain, short fused with Landon and with a heavy heart. While Doc adjusted Landon he and I chatted about my symptoms and what the last week at home was like (it's not like me to miss work due to illness anymore). I told him was I doing everything right: rest, fish oil, chlorophyll, iron, multi-vitamin, and my friend had even brought over some homemade soup. I honestly could not and cannot remember the last time I felt this way!! And this is how some of our patients walk in every day!! In pain!! Suffering!! It really was a God-Check for me. It was like He was putting it all in perspective for me, a nudge, if you will.

I sat down on the cervical chair and Doc scoped me, he said my upper cervical spine and atlas were on fire. That was my last 30 seconds of feeling like shit. Right there! Doc adjusted my atlas and instantly, I felt my power turn back on. I felt my life restored. I felt my smile come back. I felt ME come back. I felt, like, like, like I WANTED TO GO TO THE GYM!!! Instead, I went for my walk with Landon after my adjustment to help my body hold the adjustment.

As I walked it all came back to me, all the inspiration, all the heart of why we do what we do! All the reason! All the purpose and passion! Living the Chiropractic wellness lifestyle it is so easy to forget how so much of the world feels and functions. Our world is a sick world, being treated with Sick-Care, not Health-Care. We are only treating the symptoms and not the cause of the problem, and that is where we are failing! Chiropractic seeks to find the CAUSE of the problem. The disconnect in your nervous system,  which we all know is your master control system. That disconnect it called a subluxation, and if it goes undetected and uncorrected it causes degeneration and inflammation in your spine leading to all sorts of symptoms we are treating with a medication. Those medications, they don't treat anything, they mask your symptoms, your body signals. Your body signals are your body's way of screaming at you, "HEY! Something isn't functioning the way it's meant to!! Listen to me!!" And instead of listening we are shutting it up with a pill so we can continue on with the very life style that is killing us. Killing us with chronic inflammation, heart disease, diabetes, cancer, high cholesterol, depression, ADHD, and the list goes on... we all know the illness in our world today.

I felt it was appropriate that all of this happened on Chiropractic's 117th birthday. What an amazing profession. What an AMAZING profession! What an amazing, underestimated profession that has been around for years and years, decades and decades. And yet, many times sill it's disregarded. I've heard so many times people, including my own family members [so frustrating], say, "I don't believe in Chiropractic." It's not a belief, people. It's science. It's anatomy. One of our patients said yesterday, "It's all really common sense if you just stop and learn about it."

Please, do that.
Stop and learn.
...And maybe take a moment to say Happy Birthday to Chiropractic too.

When I say Happy Birthday Chiropractic, what I really mean is,

  THANK YOU, CHIROPRACTIC!