15 Truths I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Pregnancy

Pregnancy is a miraculous time in a woman's life. A time when you are literally "one" with your child, and life is beautiful. Our bodies are amazing ladies! We can grow a whole person inside our bodies in around 40 weeks! Men, we do need you, but your physical contribution in comparison just isn't miraculous or amazing. Sorry. We are amazing!! Life is so wonderful; everyone complements you, congratulates you and accommodates you. Life is great for a pregnant woman, thicker, fuller hair, a "glow" and bigger boobs! Yay pregnancy!! True. Annnnnnnd false. 

If you know anything about me, you know that I LOVE pregnant women and the beautiful power and strength they hold. Hey, I'm even pursuing a career in child birth education and lactation consulting. Clearly, I love pregnancy, birth, breast feeding and everything in between. We. Are. Amazing. 

But for those of you who are getting pregnant for the first time, I want you to know about some of the things that may accompany these wonderful times of bliss so you aren't in shock, like I was with this second pregnancy. There were days when I would look at Derek, holding back tears, I would shout at him, "WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY BODY?!"

You should know that my first pregnancy with Landon was amazing! I hardly experienced any of these symptoms, just a bigger appetite, belly, boobs and eventually a bigger butt. Thank you 2 AM pint-sized feedings of Ben and Jerry's Brownie Batter. Hey, this is a judgement free zone, right?

If you prefer to stay in the 'Ignorance is Bliss' category, I totally understand. Stop reading. Now.

If you are my brother or Dad or anyone that holds me on a pedestal, you may want to also stop reading. Or not, it may be fun to read a list about your sister who has a hard time controlling her flatulence and bladder.

For women who are pregnant, or have been, I hope you find this amusing, and will laugh with me as you read. Read on!

15 Truths About Pregnancy

1. Your body is no longer your own. This is the most important thing to understand. Everything else just follows this one fact, you are the physical provider for a growing, thriving human being.

2. Start your exercise and kegels before you get pregnant or every time you sneeze or cough you will have to change your underwear. There are now even apps to help you with your kegels. I downloaded Kegel Kat because I like that the cat is wearing a headband, and meows on the "squeeze" part, but to each their own.

Kegel Kat can help you with your Kegels!

3. You may become very acquainted with your toilet bowl, you may even deem yourself a "professional puker" like I did, because some days it may feel like your job. Try to find the silver lining in everything or it will be a long 9 months, with this one, it's hard. I know. Just trust that one day, the nausea will stop and you will be able to eat normal food again.

4. Sometimes you're going to feel like punching your husband in the face as much as you love him. Just say no. Punching is never good for a relationship, especially if he's only asking you if you want almond butter on your toast. "What kind of questions is that?!?! Of course I do!! UGGGH!!" Just breathe, respond, smile, and walk away.

5. It's hormones. It's always hormones. There will be days where everything makes you angry, or cry uncontrollably, or laugh hysterically. Take it in stride. If it's an angry day, try to warn your husband and keep your distance. He will thank you in the end, and you will love him more for respecting your space.

6. Find a support group. I am so blessed to be going through this with one of my closest friends. So on days where I pee my pants from sneezing I can send her a text about it. It makes me feel more normal to get a text back saying, "I hear you, I did that 3 times last night."

Yes, this is a real text I sent a friend.

7. There will be days where you cannot get out of bed from exhaustion, and after taking a 5 minute shower, you will need a 20 minute nap, just because that was SO EXHAUSTING. Take that nap. Take lots of them, even if that means calling a friend and saying, "I'm running 20 min late." If you have good friends, they will understand.

8. You will pee all the time. All the time. In the first trimester it's hormonal, the third it's because you did such a wonderful job growing a baby and he or she now likes to use your bladder as a trampoline. Don't get frustrated when you have to run to the bathroom because you feel like your bladder is SO full, and two drops come out. That really means that had you not made it to the bathroom, it wouldn't have been as bad as your originally thought.

http://www.etsy.com/shop/karenskontraptions

9. Sometimes it feels like the baby knows Kung-Fu, or is a very tiny kick-boxing professional. It hurts. Just breathe through it. Once the baby is born, you will miss those movements.

10. You will fart. Even when you try not to. I don't think I need to elaborate on that. 

11. You will grunt like an old woman. Every time you get out of the car (why are some of them so low to the ground?!) it may sound like you are trying to push the baby out already. Really, some days I am reminded of helping my Granny get in and out of the car. And it's not every day, just on the days where I'm overly exhausted. Let your husband open the door for you, and on days where you feel like an old woman, ask him for a little help getting out. Then, make sure you say, "thank you". And mean it.

12. Your body will hurt at times, find a great chiropractor, if you don't have one already (I know many, let me know if you need one), and trust your body's ability to heal and change. Your pelvis is going to shift and change, and the ligament laxity necessary for birth is going to add instability to all of your joints (this is supposed to happen), but you will ache. Badly. Again, find a chiropractor, one that practices Webster Technique, they will help balance your pelvis, creating more room for your baby and more comfort for you. I'm so grateful to be married to my chiropractor, trust me, they are an essential part of your pregnancy team. Also, I've found prenatal yoga helps. Remember, our bodies were made to do this, but sometimes we need help. 

13. Sleep will become a hard thing to accomplish at night. Between getting up to pee 5 times a night, being overwhelmed with the checklist of things you have to accomplish to prepare for the baby, leg cramps, and indigestion it will seem impossible to sleep. I swear to you, Derek has had to help me roll over to get out of bed to use the bathroom. Sometimes I just get stuck on my back with no energy to roll all-the-way-over and out of the bed. I have a good husband. Remember how I said to take naps. Take naps.

14. You may feel like the most popular, interesting person with all the appointments you have to go to. They will want to know what you're eating, how much weight your gaining, how you're feeling and what your plans and preferences are. Look at it as your baby's first fan club. It will be easier and more fun that way.

15. Baby brain is a real thing. The baby gets all those nutrients, essential fatty acids, and everything we put into our body first. Then you get the leftovers. Sometimes, there are no leftover for memory. There were days where mid-sentence I would forget what I was saying. Gone. No idea. It was like trying to read  a blank page with no page to turn back to and reference for a little information. If you can take fish oil this will help, if you can't keep it down (like me), then just rely on check lists, post-its and the patience of others. 

I just want to thank my friend Hilary for inspiring this. I will never forget about 6 months into her marriage I called her to catch up and she said to me, "It's hard! No one ever tells you how hard it is!! They always say it's wonderful! Well, I'm going to tell you, Heather, because I love you. Marriage is hard!" 

So, there you have it, pregnancy IS beautiful, but it is also hard, and not very pretty at times. But those good parts, they really are great. So great that we have over populated the planet. Go us! Treasure the life-giving moments of pregnancy, and just laugh at the rest of it. God has a sense of humor, we should too. Perhaps He is preparing us to love a little person with all of the same digestive, sleep, and emotional issues we had for the last 9 months. Life is beautiful, trek on, create more life and do it with your fuller hair and glowing skin!



To our men: Thank you. Thank you for loving us and still finding us beautiful despite all of these "fun facts". We need you, not just to get pregnant, but to love and support us while we are pregnant. 

I've now gone through pregnancy without and with a husband, and, Derek, you make this a thousand times easier. Thank you for holding me when I cry for no reason, for cleaning and cooking while I can't stand the smell or even the sight of food, for loving Landon while I was too weak to get out of bed. Thank you for helping me get in and out of the car and bed. And thank you for reminding me that I am beautiful even when I don't feel it. You are amazing, I love you.

Rainbow Baby

So much has happened since my last post, I'm not even sure where to start.

Recapping on the year span in my mind there are two events that comes to mind, and that is being pregnant, twice.  

September 11th, 2012 we lost a baby. I can't call it a miscarriage because I wasn't far enough into the pregnancy to medically deem it a miscarriage (which is 20 weeks, by the way), so they call it a "spontaneous abortion". Sounds so much better than miscarriage, doesn't it? Nothing like a good-old-medical term to bring some true comfort. Uh,huh.

That feeling, that indescribable feeling... and silence. There was a lot of silence to accompany the tears and sleep the week or so following. Not because I had nothing to say, but because I was completely drained emotionally and physically. I took a week off of work, and laid in bed the whole time. I felt exhausted, guilty, depressed, helpless, and mostly just wanted Derek to hold me all the time or my Mom, who was thousands of miles away, to play with my hair. After returning to work I heard that "it happens to lots of women and is actually more common than you'd think." I know it does, I know it is, but it still left a mark on my heart, and it left a longing there too.

With a lot of real talking, number crunching (on my responsible husband's end), and prayer by the New Year Derek and I were talking seriously about having another little heart around to warm our home even more. Some days were filled with tears and struggles, and some days were filled with daydreaming and talk of names. Our decision really came down to Faith and Love. As all things should, but often don't.

Derek's birthday present to me this past year, was saying, "Let's grow our family". Best. Birthday. Present. EVER. Seriously. I like to think that baby Adeline Grace was the last great adventure we began, together, right before I turned 30. Ahhh, my twenties were amazing!

We found out mid-February that I was pregnant, and if you want to read Derek's view on finding out you'll have to read his blog (http://drdadvice.blogspot.com)I find it endearing, and hysterical. 

As for me the last half of February, all of March, April and most of May went something like this: vomit, sleep, eat, vomit, sleep, sleep, vomit, eat, and vomit ::repeat:: With work in there too of course. For those of you who have ever gotten the flu, you still have no idea what those months were like. Sorry. I now have a vomiting PR of 12 times in 6 hours, take that flu!! I, honestly, think it was God's way of humbling me. One of my closest friends, Kristin, found out she was pregant 2 weeks before me and when she came in sick and feeling awful I said this to one of the Doctors in our office, "I feel so bad for Kristin. I just don't get sick when I'm pregnant. I'm not one of those pregnant woman." HA! If I were God I would have humbled me too. Thank you, God, lesson learned. Promise. Please, no more nausea. And I really did feel awful for Kristin, I love that wonderful woman so much, it's hard to see your friends feel downright cruddy.

We waited to tell Landon until we had more confirmation than just an at home pregnancy test. Poor Landon, because of how sick I'd been he actually thought I was dying, well, first he thought it was food poisoning, and then he thought I was dying. He asked his Dad one night, "Does Mommy have a disease?" No baby, I'm just pregnant. 

When we finally told him, this was his reaction. 

**Disclaimer** Our home was a mess, my husband is amazing and helps with dishes, dinner and laundry year round (take a hint other men), but I do a few things too, and at this point I had basically been in bed for 3 months while home with the occasional trip to the bathroom, so try not to judge. I know, it's hard.

Landon is very excited, he talks to my belly often, and kisses it frequently. He is always telling his baby sister he loves her, and asking me to translate what she says in response to his sweet affirmations. So cute. He's a wonderful big brother already, and he can't wait to try out some Baby Wearing with the Ergo. I can't wait to watch the two of them fall in love with each other, it's going to be a special relationship, I can feel it.

This baby, this little wonderful bundle that is due to come in a few more weeks, is a blessing, and what I have now found out will be our "Rainbow Baby". Thank you Urban Dictionary for your definition. It, surprisingly, warmed my heart. 

"In the real world, a beautiful and bright rainbow follows a storm and gives hope of things getting better. The rainbow is more appreciated having just experienced the storm in comparison. The storm (pregnancy loss) has already happened and nothing can change that experience. Storm-clouds might still be overhead as the family continue to cope with the loss, but something colorful and bright has emerged from the darkness and misery."

Thank you, God, for our storm and our Rainbow Baby. We are all very excited to watch her grow and shine bright. After all, this world could use some more color!

100 Lessons

100 Lessons Learned in the Last 5 Years (2010)

It’s a long one, but it’s a good one… here we go.

1. When you have had a runny nose and chapped lips for 3 days, don’t Nair your mustache- it burns like hell! AND everyone you meet might wonder if there is a new strand of herpes that you’re trying out.

2. In figuring out what you want in life, it’s just as important to figure out what you don’t want.

3. The hardest thing I have ever had to do, still, is watch Landon scream and cry while having his chin stitched up.

4. Animals really do attack. It’s not funny when it’s you they are attacking- it’s frighting and can leave you truly traumatized.

5. If you can do these two things, you can do anything; give natural child birth and grow your hair out.

6. Just because everyone (including yourself) thinks the grass is greener doesn’t always mean it is. But if you work hard enough on the grass you already have, it can be the greenest of greens.

7. Playing Legos till 1AM with the love of you life never goes out of style.

8. Always work on a few projects at a time; you may feel overwhelmed at times, but you’ll never feel bored.

9. First, remove gas nozzle from the car THEN drive away.

10. The Internet is an amazing tool for creating anything; web pages, business cards, relationships.

11. Love at first sight isn’t just in Fairy Tales.

12. Landon can sit at a table for 3 hours in protest before he eats a single pea.

13. When your best friend suffers, you suffer, but hold the confidence that she lacks. Knowing that she’ll make it, all you can do is be there to help her if she stumbles.

14. Everything is more expensive in Australia, and when you are living over there the USD doesn’t matter, bc you aren’t making it.

15. I am a Facebook addict, and really, I don’t care what you think about it.

16. Sometimes you HAVE to swim in REALLY cold water.

17. Blood IS thicker than water, but love can turn water to blood.

18. If you stop learning and growing, you stop living.

19. Missing your friends and family can be physically painful.

20. A dishwasher is an amazing appliance.

21. Derek likes to take things apart, and that curiosity is something I hope he never loses, it’s something I adore.

22. With that being said, a working dryer is also an amazing appliance.

23. Line dried clothes are not light and fresh, they are stiff, wrinkly and if they fail to dry in a day, they smell like ass.

24. I love Derek’s “cloth sandal shoes”.

25. A child’s innocence helps to keep the fear at bay.

26. Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers is my favorite band of all time- on album and live.

27. The word “booty” is hysterical to Landon.

28. Road trips are still fun.

29. Film is amazing and underrated.

30. I have to be near water, I go crazy being too far from it.

31. The ocean heals.

32. No one really NEEDS a microwave; I hope I never own one again.

33. I now understand the phrase “running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off.” I had no idea that
they actually do that when you chop off their heads, now I do.

34. I am still a ‘Daddy’s Girl’.

35. College was not as painful as I made it out to be when I was 18; I just wasn’t ready for it.

36. I can learn almost anything with YouTube and a little self motivation.

37. Timing really is everything, so you can’t dwell on the time you lost and you have to use the time you have left.

38. It cost $289 to gama-radiate a $40 wooden drum from Ghana just so we can have it in our home without the skin on.

39. My brothers are inspiring.

40. Sometimes the perfect weekends only cost you enough money for food and gas.

41. The sweet question, “Will you make me breakfast?” is horribly annoying if asked more than once any day of the week at 5AM.

42. A tick in Australia can also mean “check”. So when your child comes home telling you he “got 2 ticks at school today” don’t freak out looking for the little parasites.

43. Grey’s Anatomy reruns still make me cry.

44. Don’t think that you can just go right into sleeping on a new contour pillow every night, if you’re like me you’ll have an ‘unexplained’ migraine for two days straight. They have to be eased into slowly.

45. Landon HATES ice packs.

46. I am on Team Edward.

47. My Mom is pretty amazing; she has taken more crap than anyone I know, and still continues to dish pure love back out. Thank you Mom.

48. I learned more about myself and art from Miami Dade in 2 years then I ever thought imaginable. Don’t knock a school just because it’s a “college” and not a “university.” I paid less for an amazing education.

 

49. I am forever grateful to all my professors- the ones that gave a damn.

50. No one can pull off a beard like my husband.

51. Spell check is a blessing and a curse, but who needs it anyway when I have Derek.

52. When Landon tells me I look beautiful I usually have to hold back tears.

53. You can’t unhurt the people you have hurt, you can only do your best to help repair the damage. That takes time.

54. When your heart is broken sometimes the “moving forward” part is harder than the “moving on” part.

55. It’s important to be there cheering on your children even if they are in last place.

56. It’s okay to stop, rewind and replay HIMYM ten times if it keeps you laughing till you cry.

57. I can cook a Christmas and Thanksgiving dinner.

58. I don’t have a doppelganger.

59. The world is made up of lights/darks and lines/shapes.

60. Sleeping squished between Landon and Derek, though uncomfortable, is perfect.

61. Watching one of your best friends grow into being a Mommy is so exciting.

62. Just because you have your stuff with you doesn’t make the house your “home”.

63. When in doubt- follow the traffic.

64. Whatever you’re going through- you’re not the first to experience it. Chances are, there is even a song about it.

65. The power that makes the body, heals the body. TRUST that.

66. Living in a small town has it’s benefits. For instance, you’ll NEVER get the guys at Blockbuster to give you an extension on movie you rented on Tuesday till Sunday with no fee and no extra charges even though they have 50 other copies of it. In addition, you wouldn’t be able to rent 4 good movies for a week at a total of $8.

67. We live in a beautiful world.

68. Sometimes your parents need you to be the parent, and tell them what may be good for them whether they want to hear it or not. And when that time comes, it’s hard and it sucks, but it’s necessary.

69. Long distance relationships can work if there is trust, respect, humor and a light at the end of the tunnel. Also, skype and texting helps.

70. Johnny Depp is an amazing actor. Yes, this makes it on the list.

71. It’s important to give people space.

72. It’s not the cold that sucks, it’s the wind.

73. Never under estimate the power of a hug.

74. If you are unsure about something, look it up, do the research and make up your own mind. You don’t have to believe something is true just because someone says it is.

75. Being a parent is hard. There is nothing beautiful about boogers or temper tantrums.

76. It’s always nice to look at your sleeping child at night, it’s kind of like a reset button on bad days.

78. Music helps with pain management.

79. Don’t dial 1800FEDEX, it’s a phone sex line. The number is 1800GOFEDEX.

80. It’s true, the squeaky wheel does get the oil, but the wheel that is just too damn squeaky gets replaced.

81. Having a “Murtaugh List” is a good idea, but make sure you’ve done everything enough times (be that 1 to 100 times) before you say you’ll never do it again.

82. Some people you never give up on, though you may step away from them doesn’t mean you’ve thrown in the towel.

83. When it comes to choosing the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with, don’t settle and make sure you’re “selfish”. You have to spend every day with that person- make sure you’ve found someone that you *want* to do that with, not someone that could just fill a void.

84. Sometimes ‘faking it till you make it’ doesn’t work, so always just try to do your best.

85. Gas appliances are so much better than electric appliances.

86. In a room that has had something extremely sad or traumatic happen in it, a fresh coat of new paint can do wonders.

87. Never stop doing what you love because you have found another thing you love, make time for both. If you don’t, you’ll end up missing an important part of who you are.

88. Drawing and painting helps to keep me balanced.

90. Don’t keep score. It’s not worth it.

91. Passion is important.

92. Forget John Mayer - stop waiting on the world to change. Get out there and change it.

93. When you are on an airplane with your baby and he won’t stop crying, remind yourself that everyone on that plane has been or will be one of two things, 1. that crying annoying baby, 2. you- the worried and embarrassed parent. It might not help your baby, it might not help the annoyed passengers, but it will help you.

94. This too shall pass.

95. If your will-power sucks, and you know you are going to give into whatever/whoever is going cause you pain/discomfort/or lower your self-esteem- throw it out, kick them out.

96. As much as I love plants, I am not good at keeping them alive. Succulent plants are the best!

97. I don’t ever want to quit coffee.

98. Traditions help to keep family close when you are so far. Skype helps too.

99. Learn from everything, it helps build character. Plus, who wants to keep making the same mistakes over and over again.

100. It’s nice to reflect on things you’ve learned…